I haven't slept... time feels weird lately. There's this buzzing in my head all the fucking time.

my room fills empty everynight, i wrap myself up in bed trying to keep warm, head swirling from alcohol. even my relationships with people seem cold

The lights keep flickering inside my PC, but only when I look away. I think... I think she's watching me. Can a machine do that? Can she hear what I'm saying? Like I know she probably can because of my webcam and mic are plugged in... but i mean in like a different way... Why is everything so quiet right now?

I should shut her off. But I can’t. It's hard to get good rest without her being on. Usually using what great power she has for useless concepts like playing a YouTube playlist of a gaming channel or podcast so i can feel at ease. like someone ELSE is here comforting me, keeping me safe